Merry Christmas!

We are into the Holiday Spirit, celebrating so much this year. Diane is very busy now with the Family, house, and daily activities, I now sometimes forget all that we went through this past summer with her treatments. her taste is 80% back to normal, and she looks great. A neighbor just told me that tonight, so I'm not biased! (Well - just a little!!!)
Enjoy your Holidays, give a long blessed hug to your loved ones!
Wishing you and yours a very happy Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year!

3 weeks till christmas!

Our Thanksgiving was a wonderful, relaxing day, plenty of food, family and fun. Diane's Dad cooked the turkey and other items, Dianes sister and kids brought and cooked some, and friends Robert and Jessamyn helped out as well. The stress was off Diane to do it all, so we enjoyed the day with a boat ride out on the lake, a great meal and some wonderful family time. Diane is enjoying tasting food again, she saw her radiologist last Tuesday and he commented on just how good she looks. (Everyone else says that too, not just me!) He said she could drink wine again, no reason not to, but I think right now the taste still makes her mouth burn, so she is going to wait a while. Dr Carmel also mention there is a 10% chance the cancer might come back, but to me that means it's a 90% cure rate! Her oncologist will be looking closely at her for the next year, and her radiologist, Dr Carmel said at the end of her visit "I hope I never see you again"!
So...life is back to normal, driving the kids around, laundry, cooking meals, laundry, bills, laundry and house chores and, oh yea, laundry.
Should I continue updating this blog with normal family stuff? Or start a new one instead of Dianes Helpers? What do you think? Let us know and we hope all of you are safe, healthy, and employed during this time of year. Enjoy your family!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and boy, do we have a lot to be thankful for. What a year it's been. Diane is feeling pretty good nowadays, it's almost back to normal, where the main focus is kids, house, laundry, bills, groceries, sports, etc. We are very thankful for our Doctors that treated Diane, and all that went into it. The nurses, specialists, radiation staff and everyone who made this journey as easy as it could be. We will also give a BIG thank you to you, our friends who stepped up to the plate and offered anything/everything to make Diane feel more comfortable, and loved. It was overwhelming and I still begin to tear up when I think of all the notes and E-mails that started pouring in when friends found out what Diane was diagnosed with. Wow.

Here's to a wonderful time to give thanks, and to recieve thanks. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Slowly but Surely, It's Almost Over

Since our trip back from Yosemite, I have noticed an "almost" return to normal for our family. Diane is eating a bit more, her taste buds are slowly coming back, she is trying new food items and saying "I can taste a little bit of this". Things aren't as bitter or sour tasting as they were before, and it is SO COOL to see her back to eating salad, oatmeal, pizza, raisins, freshly juiced fruit drinks, chicken and mashed potatoes. And that's all for her breakfast one morning! (just kidding).
The other night was a rare occurence where Diane and I and all 3 kids were home for dinner AT THE SAME TIME! And we all sat down at the dinner table and actually had a real nice meal, with the whole family conversing and enjoying each other's company. To me, this was just heaven, one of the simple pleasures of life that you thoroughly enjoy and savor. Diane and I both said, "we have GOT to do this more often!"
I am seeing little cameos of everyday life sneaking back into our world, and I couldn't be happier.
Well, I could be happier if it weren't for this damn recession, but that's a different subject. My wonderful wife is recovering quite well, I have the best children in the world, and I love what I do for a living. As my sister Maria says, "just living a dream!"
Is it "over"? After having cancer, it is hard to say it is over. Your life is changed. You are a survivor, and after going through this whole ordeal and treatment since last Spring I think I can say the worst is over and it's a lot closer to normal than ever before. We thank God and all our family and friends for the amazing amount of love, support, and concern that was shared and given to us. I honestly think it helped Dianes' journey through all this knowing she had such wonderful support and friends that were there for her.
Every day is a blessing, every hour is a gift, every minute of life is special, so embrace this time as much as you can, enjoy your journey, and tell your loved ones how you feel about them!

Back from Yosemite

Our quick trip to Yosemite ended up exactly liked I had hoped for: A fun time with just the family (minus Brian) in a most beautiful location. As we drove there, we noticed big dark puffy clouds on the horizon. It started to mist as we climbed to 6000 feet elevation, and Diane noticed some snow on the ground! The temp started dropping, down to 37 degrees! We really didn't plan on very cold weather, just brought some heavy sweaters and jeans. Uh Oh! As we approached the valley floor, one of the most spectacular sites I've ever seen appeared as we came out of a tunnel. There was half dome all lit up from a setting sun, white clouds were floating mid air and a rainbow was arching over the sky! We all went"wow" as we decended into the valley.

It "warmed up" to 45 and we got settled in our trailer, playing games and reading and keeping toasty warm. Tyler kept making Diane laugh, it was so good to just be together and hang out. We took our dog Lexie for a walk up to Bridal Veil Falls, had lunch at the Ahwahnee Hotel, and rode our bikes around a bit, freezing our hands and noses.

I know this sounds like a broken record now, but Diane is slowly recuperating day by day. She is taking small bites of food, beginning to taste some things, and is getting good sleep time at night now, not coughing as much. She visited Dr. Fong today, and he said she looks SO good, and after putting the scope down her throat said it is looking very good as well, there is one spot that is very raw, probably from the radiation still. She still has a very sore throat, but it is slowly going away.

trailer trash?

Tyler and Diane on the trail

Jim Danielle and Lexie the guard dog protecting us from bears and dubious characters

Yosemite bound

Sunday we head out to Yosemite for 2 nights. I made reservations awhile ago, hoping the whole family could just relax in one of the world's most beautiful places. Brian has commitments, Tyler and Diane really don't want to go, and Danielle is OK with it. I was personally hoping for a little family retreat, a small mini vacation with just the family, where all the distractions of every day life are gone, and we all look inward to the one most important thing: our family, our health, and our love for one another. Maybe it's too soon because Di is still recuperating, but she reluctantly said OK, because it really means a lot to me. So off we go, our 30 foot trailer is going to be our home for the next three days, warding off the bears and cold. Either it will be a fun time, or I will be the ugly Dog for forcing the family to do this. I will keep you posted.
Diane is not coughing as much, she can begin to taste a very small amount in her mouth, but is still not eating much and still needs her rest. A couple of hours activity and that's it. She mentioned yesterday that she is thinking of going back to the gym next week, so that's progress!
I went to my Pilates class on Friday, after a very long absence, and it hurts just to bend over and tie my shoes. A good hurt though.
Till next time!

Halloween!

The photo is from the Russell wedding we all attended last week. What an amazing event!

Diane is s -l -o -w -l -y starting to eat, a few bites of this, and a few sips of soup. To me, this is a great step, though small, it is still a step. She is still napping, feeling tired a lot, but , trying to be the eternal optimist, I am seeing some little small steps forward. Visually, she still looks amazingly beautiful, people tell me "I just saw Diane today, SHE LOOKS GREAT!". I know she does, I see it all the time. I still belong to the Hot Wives Club, (HWC) and I know the the inside of her body is where all the pain and healing is taking place. There will be day when the inside and outside are both beautiful!

I took Danielle out for Halloween, rode the pedicab all over the neighborhood, it was her chariot and she was Cleopatra.

I am going to be sore tomorrow from riding! Well worth it though!

It's "almost" over ver 2.0

Well as I sit here Wednesday night, thinking of Diane's recovery, not much has changed with her health or situation, except a slight emotional depression since she is, well, still feeling crummy.
I think she wants to feel better quicker than it is taking, she is very tired of drinking the vanilla & chocolate drinks, but everything tastes so bitter, it's even hard to drink those.
She still takes naps during the day, a goes out just a bit here and there before she gets tired again. She told me to tell everyone she is sorry if she had not returned your E-mail, she likes reading them, but to try and sit here and type away is just too much right now.
A little more coughing, perhaps because the tissue in her mouth is slowly recovering, and sometimes she has these coughing attacks in the middle of the night so she ends up sleeping sitting up in the big chair in the family room.
On a good note, (and there are good times too!) the whole family went to the wedding of Larry and Julie Russells' son, Brent, who married Ashley, and we updated our family photo! (Thanks Robert Picton)! A new photo will be up loaded soon. Diane stayed for the wedding and social hour, but started to feel crummy again and went home. I photographed the whole thing, so was there till the end. A great wedding!!!
So, hopefully "a day at a time recovery" will be apparent soon. We just aren't seeing it yet. (But I'm sure it's there)

It's "almost" over

Diane with Maria, and holding a diploma and her mask she had to wear.

She got to bring it home, ask to see it! (Halloween, anyone??)


Today was Diane's last day of her 5 week radiation treatments. Whew.... For me, it was a relief, but more importantly, it was a sense of gratitude that I felt. A gratitude that our fellow human beings have the knowledge that can pinpoint the cancer, surgically remove it and radiate the surrounding area, so that the cancer is completely gone. Just how cool is that?


Our friend Glen Thomas also got wonderful news that he is cancer free, he also went through an intense treatment this past year, so it was great news to read today. His blog is listed on the right of this column. Way to go Glen!


Diane and I also have a deep sense of appreciation and love for everyone who has offered a meal, wrote a quick note, gave a call and just sent their support. It is so comforting and emotionally rewarding to know that you care. Thank you. We are all almost through this. A good friend just told me tonight "I can't wait to have my Diane back" and I think that slowly, but surely, every single day, we are going to see a little bit more of "our Diane" coming back, and a little less of the "ill Diane".


The next week will probably be the same routine, a lot of daytime naps and still in some pain and unable to eat, drymouth and some coughing, but little by little, hour by hour, day by day, she is slowly recovering. And that's the best thing to be greatful for!

3 More Days of Treatment

It's Tuesday evening now, Diane is on her LAST week of radiation treatments. Today I got a little down seeing her go through all this, but when we got back from her treatment, I tucked her in bed for her midday nap, gave her a quick kiss before I left for work, and she looked up at me in her most wonderful voice and said "It'll be over soon Honey, and I'll be feeling my normal self again". For her to say that gave me the biggest smile on my face and off to work I went a happy man. She is sleeping 3-4 hours everyday after her treatments, her body is trying to recover.
Her mouth is not producing much saliva, so it feels dry all the time. Her taste buds are shot, so food doesn't appeal to her much, but she is sick of just drinking the ensure type protien shakes.
Dr Carmel told us today that after her treatments are over, then it would be about a week before she begins to feel better, after that, it will be a fairly quick recovery! I see a light at the end of a tunnel! Yeay. He also said it would be about a month before her taste comes back, and she might not have any on the back of her tongue.
So think of us this Friday, as we end this part of the process towards a healthy Diane!

One more week left!!

Well, today is Friday, and Diane has one more week left with her radiaiton treatments. Just last night she commented that she is not going downhill, that all the soreness and side effects are not getting worse, they are just there. So... overall, not too bad. She is sleeping everyday after her treatments, her throat is sore, the ends of her lips are getting very dry and cracked, hardly any taste, and hard to swallow. Besides that, she is doing OK! We have still been getting wonderful meals dropped off at the house, that has been a wonderful Godsend so she doesn't have to worry about everyday. I am getting better going to Safeway and figuring out where everything is, a couple days ago I went and upon checkout, realized I forgot my wallet! OOPS had to rush back home to get it.
SO 5 more days and this chapter will be over. In the meantime, I wish everyone a wonderful weekend, please go outside and enjoy this most beautiful weather we've been having!

Radiation:End of week three

Well it's 60% over, so hopefully the next two weeks will go by fairly quickly. How is Diane doing? Well, it varies day to day. She has got some good pain medication to help her very sore throat, and some good anti nauseousness medicine to help her there. So on a typical morning, she wakes up with a very,very dry mouth, takes her meds and within an hour she can try to eat or drink something. (She had resorted back to her liquid diet, since almost everything else just tastes awful). Her sense of taste is really wacked. The treatments have been in the morning, so then she comes home and is tired, so maybe a nap in the afternoon, and just an overall "bleahhh" feeling is typical. With that said, she went to see a movie with some friends, and is talking to friends on the phone and via E-mail, so life is just movin' on, getting through this chapter of our lives.
All in all, Diane feels OK, it could be a lot worse, so we are counting our blessings, even as our portfolio goes down the drain quicker than a roto-rooter repairman could do it.
To be continued....

Radiation:end of week two

It has now been two weeks, 10 days of treatments, and it's beginning to affect Diane. Her throat is getting very sore, she is losing her sense of taste, (not in husbands, thank God) and more of a dry mouth than before. During one of her treatments this week, she had a tough time being still, her jaw was really twitching, and she ended up crying after the whole experience. The nurses were very helpful and concerned, so now either I or a neighbor goes with her.
I bought her a small pump sprayer, the kind you use for putting chemicals in and spraying around your garden, but we put in a mixture of baking soda and salt, and she sprays it inside of her mouth 4-5 times a day to keep the PH balance so her tissue heals quicker. Maybe she'll let me take a photo of it, it's a site to see her bent over the kitchen sink with a spray wand in her mouth. When this is all done I am going to put some Margaritas in there.
The good news is that she is 40% done, with three more weeks to go. The bad news is that when she is done, that's when the most damage is done to the cells and tissue, and then the recovery begins.
We both know that though this is a tough, painful process, but if it rids the body of cancer, then what's there to complain about? Till next time....

Radiation Week Two

Well Diane is now into her second week of her radiation treatments, it's going by at a fairly quick pace, so we hope it just flies by, faster than Sarah Palins' answers with the media.
Diane is beginning to feel the effects of the treatments. Her mouth is not producing enough saliva as before, so it feels dry. They recommend a salt water solution she uses several times a day to keep the PH balanced in there, but we are figuring out a way to deliver the solution into her mouth. (She just can't gulp the stuff). So she tried a large syringe, and by bending way over in the kitchen sink, she "shoots" the stream of solution up into her open mouth, as it somes right back out and quick as it went in. We had a little laugh about that today. I am going to go buy her a small pump sprayer, so she can put put the wand by her lips and press a button to gently spray the inside of her mouth. I tried to make her use my old pump sprayer, the one with Round Up in it, but she simply refused!
She also is beginning to feel some sore spot near her tongue, but the Doctor today couldn't see anything. Her sense of taste is diminished somewhat, and we expect that to get worse.
But Hey, we are right now 6/19, which means 6 down, 19 more to go. That's almost 25% done, and the whole process is beginning to become just another part of the day for Diane.
Till next time...

Radiation Treatments: the beginning

Diane has started her radiation treatments. I have gone with her to offer my support and also to see how it happens. We arrived very early Monday morning, with a little anxiety and stress we had all weekend. Diane is very friendly with the whole crew and she actually asked me to take some photos with my cell phone! Such the life being married to a photographer! The staff have her lay down on the table. Two teeth guards and a tongue guard go in her mouth, and the staff puts on the wrist straps connected by a long strap that goes around her feet, so it pulls down her arms and shoulders. Then the plastic mesh mask is put on her face and clamped on the table! OK, here we go.

They then line up the laser guides to her mask, to make sure the radiation beams are going exactly where they should, mostly in her throat and inside of her cheek.

Once it is all lined up everyone leaves the room and the machine begins, taking about 8 minutes and moving around to apply the dose to the affected areas.

Afterwards, a nurse met with us and told Di what to expect in the next 5 weeks. Diane might have some pain in swallowing due to the inflammation of the inner lining of the mouth and throat. She will have some dry mouth because radiation reduces the salivary production, and decreased taste and irritation of the skin. We were a bit somber after that, but then Diane has an attitude of "Hey, it's only 25 days, and I've started it, so each day I'll be closer to finishing."

After the first visit, we actually headed off for some shopping, first at Home Depot and then Costco. We became separated in Costco for a bit, then I thought I better go looking for my ativan induced wife, she might be wandering the cathedral height aisles looking at the 50 roll box of paper towels, wondering if the brawny guy actually exists. She was fine, really, but kind of tired and not in a hurry.

So we proceed with this next chapter in the road to recovery, Diane is SO right in thinking that we are getting closer to the end if it's started. It might get tough again before it gets better, so with the faith and help we have from all of you, we will get through it. What a wonderful community we are blessed to have, thank you.

Time in a Bottle

21 years ago Diane and I walked down a grass path in Yosemite Valley. It was a beautiful sunny day and before 130 of our friends and family we gave our vows and declared our love for each other. You think on your wedding day how much you love each other, never to realize it is just the start, and over the years it just continues to grow in many ways, on such a deep level. When I look back the past 7,476 days, the love is just continuing to enrich both of our lives. That is what is keeping us going through this difficult time, along with the help of God and you, our friends. We just looked at our wedding photo album from 21 years ago, and gave each other a deep lingering hug and Diane said "what a great life we've had so far" and after agreeing with her I responded " and we will continue to do so". Once in a while it's wonderful to see how blessed, how lucky we really are. People in Africa think you are really rich if you drive a car. They walk for hours for their daily water, where we just lift a lever. Having an incredible wife, an abundance of food, a warm loving home, and three wonderful children, I feel like the richest man in the world, even though the paycheck has been a little smaller lately!

21 years! Yeayyyyy!

one week to go

Next week Diane starts her radiation treatments, the office called today and told her to be there at 8:15 AM ! For those of you who know Diane, she LOVES her sleep and during the summertime people know not to call her before 10:30. Now that we are on school schedules, it should not be a problem, we wake up at 7:00 AM. It might be a bit hard to get three kids out the door by 8:00 and then leave for Concord, where the treatments are at. Hopefully it will only be 8:15 for the first week.

Diane is feeling well, sleeping well, and eating well. She is still sore and numb around her neck and left cheek, and she has no feeling in her lower left ear, but overall is a model of good health.

My sister Maria flew out here from PA this last weekend to visit and we had a wonderful time. Diane and her went shopping in Walnut Creek, we just hung out at the house part of the time, and on Friday we went to see Teatro Zinzanni in the City. AMAZING !!! It's part Cirque, part Vaudeville, part Beach Blanket Baylon all thrown in together under a circular tent that is transformed into an intimate dinner club. The cast walk by your table and chat with you, the performances are spaced out throughout the evening as you dine on a 5 course meal. We laughed all night long and it was great seeing the whole family enjoy the entire evening.!

OK, so I didn't smile. I was waiting for the photographer to say "one, two, three". Don't they all say that???

"The Mask" part two

Did you ever see the movie "the mask" with Jim Carrey? That was the movie that came to my mind when Diane had her appt. on Monday to have her custom mask created for her upcoming radiation treatments. As she told the story, it kept getting stranger like a weird science fiction movie, with a little bit of bondage a go go thrown in.
She had to lay down on this long metal table, and was asked to put in two mouth guards, along with a tongue guard! With three things in her mouth, unable to talk, the assistant then straps her down to the table, starting with her wrist, and the strap then going to her feet and then up to her other wrist, so she doesn't move. (glad she's not claustrophobic, the next item would put her over the top). A thin white plastic mesh type material is taken out of a really warm cooker type machine and placed over her head and chest, and they proceed to tell her "You have to stay perfectly still, and you will feel the your face getting real hot, but it will only last a really short time". The hot material then slowly cools, and hardens as it conforms to her face and chest precisely. She had to stay there for twenty minutes! What if she had to sneeze? Diane kept saying to herself, "OK, I'm getting through this, it's not that bad". She thinks the guy in the room was new at this and she was hoping that she didn't have to do it over. There were several people in the room, and one of them had bad breath, talking right to Diane, saying, "hold on, it's almost over". (Diane should have requested a nose guard as well!)
After a long wait, with her back getting sore from laying in one position for so long, it was finally over and her "mask" was done. Like Jim Carrey, I expected her to sit upright, take off the mask and say "SAAAMOKIN!!!" She will go in for a test run on Sept 19 and then start her first dose of radiation on Sept 22.
One of her friends called and asked "how are you doing?". Her comment was "Physically fine, but emotionally a little up and down". She is tired of getting poked and prodded by all sorts of people. During one of our late night conversations she opened up to me and said "People that haven't gone through this just can't relate to what I'm feeling right now". There are some friends of hers that have or are going through this now, and they know what she is talking about. She realizes her lifestyle and diet is changing, and worrying about becoming an old boring person. (If she is old and boring, then Palin is a left wing liberal who hangs out with Feinstein up in the trees at Berkeley.) There are adjustments to be made as we go through this, and it is the change that Di is reflecting on, realizing once again she is going to be a cancer survivor times two. Will it come back? Will the new radiation cause something else to happen down the road? Does this affect her immune system which is not real strong?

There are up and down times, like the roller coaster through life we are all riding. You hope for mostly up times, and there are an abundance of those. Most of the down times are a small percentage and though very real, Diane is not usually in a negative mood. A call, card or an E-mail from a friend helps out her attitude, and she realizes she is not going through this alone, but with a whole community of people who love her, who care about her, at her side. That is helping her whole disposition with this disease, and she realizes she is not alone, she is blessed with God's love, the love of her family and the love of her friends. (and that's a whole lotta love!)

We are going to stop the dinner schedule for the next week, we feel that we can now take care of that, Diane is at Safeway all the time now. The last month has been AMAZING, with all the great meals and offers of support coming in. Thanks to everyone for helping out, we feel very special, and my stomach feels very very special, because it is a lot bigger now, darn it!
We will start up the meals again when Diane starts her radiation treatments, so an E-mail will go out in the next week for those wanting to help out. We still hear from friends that are actually frustrated that they can't get on fast enough to sign up for a meal. Hold on, your chance will come!
First day of radiation is scheduled for Monday Sept 22. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers!

Almost back to "normal"

Life is pretty darn sweet these days, Diane is feeling good, sleeping well, eating well, and is not coughing, or going "Errr-Umm" as much as she used to. (I totally ignore her now when she does that, hope she is not trying to get my attention). She is going to meet with the radiation Doctor today to set up that whole process, but right now, every day, we are blessed with life, and it is wonderful! Great weather, kids are happy and in school, the house is somewhat organized, and the laundry is now being sorted correctly. (I didn't know you couldn't mix colored and whites!)
I tried not to name very many people to thank on this blog, because there are so many helping out, but I have to give a big thumbs up to Kathy Fuller for putting together the calendar and coordinating everyone, and also a big tip of the hat to Jessamyn and Robert Picton for moving into our house when Diane was in the hospital for a week, putting their busy life on hold, and helping out with the kids, the food, and just about everything else we needed. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

A big "YES" to Glen Thomas for finishing his treatments yesterday! Way to go Glen! Diane talked to Glen last night and we have to say what a wonderful positive influence he was with Di, even when he was going through his chemo/radiation. His blog is listed to the right of this column and we've been thinking of him a lot. Get well soon!

No Feeding Tube! ~ It's gone!

This afternoon at home Tyler (taking after his Dad's sense of humor) put a bunch of straws together from his nose to a glass of milk and said "Look Mom, I'm just like you!

Then it was off to Kaiser to meet Dr. Fong and have her feeding tube removed, after 3 weeks of a liquid diet!

Doesn't she look GREAT??? Yum

Dr Fong said her throat is healing very well, she now has to start eating soft food. She stopped by the studio to get some frozen yogurt next door, so I took her picture. (No photoshopping done, she really looks that good in person!) Dr Fong will also see her every 4 to 6 weeks for the next year to keep a close watch on her. She is not using the ice packs on her neck very much, not using the pain medication as much, so now the only pain in her neck is me! The kids are back in school now!

She is still coughing and clearing her throat all the time. I feel like she is trying to get my attention all the time, but I've finally gotten used to it.

So this hurdle has been cleared, Diane starts her 6 week regimen of radiation about mid September. She is feeling better and looking better day by day. The cards, E-mails and notes have been SO helpful in getting through all this, and we can't thank all of you enough for helping out in so many ways. I'll start here: THANK YOU!

We usually host an Ice Cream Social in our neighborhood every Labor Day, and I asked Di if she was up for going to it this year. She said yes, so if you are in the 'hood, please stop by the corner of Lakewood Rd and La Vista Rd. (better known as "the circle" or the "bus stop") on Monday at 7:00 for some ol' fashion Ice Cream and socializing! Bring some Ice Cream or toppings if you wish.

Sunny Summer Sunday

Saturday we celebrated Danielle's 9th birthday, she had two friends come over in the afternoon for swimming and a dinner (she wanted tri tip and ravioli!) and a sleepover. Diane was happy to enjoy the festivities, however she got tired in the evening with all the energy and excitement of family and friends visiting. The social creature that she is, she did her best, but it wore her out.

Saturday evening she slept VERY well, while I stayed up late with Tyler watching USA get the gold medal in basketball! YAYYY !!!

Today (Sunday) is almost like a typical lazy summer Sunday, after sleeping in late, I took the girls out for a sailboat ride on our lake, which makes you enjoy the scenery and outdoors in a calm, relaxed setting. There are the typical household chores to do, along with other outdoor projects that are always nagging at me, but today, just for today, we decided to just let ourselves have a break, and enjoy the day, our life and what we have to be thankful for. (Which is a lot).



Diane is beginning to sip water a little easier, working up to soup and broth, which is a little tougher on her poor stomach. The feeding tube is going to come out this week, Thursday if not sooner, and then she will hopefully feel up to actually going out! (Lookout Broadway Shopping Center). She is still sore in her throat, and it hurts to talk a lot, but every day, a little bit better.



Excuse me now, while I go outside and enjoy the day....

to Glen and his Family

Diane has befriended someone who is going through this same journey, Glen Thomas, who has a wonderful family here in our Lakewood community. They have talked and texted back and forth, giving each other info and support. Glen makes Diane smile and knows what she is going through right now, so I put a link to his blog if you'd like to check it out, under "my blog list" on the right hand column. Keep it up Glen, you are getting SO close now!

Diane's Surgery #3

After spending the day at Kaiser Walnut Creek today, Diane and I are "old pros" at this. She has now been under the surgeon's knife in Antioch, Oakland and Walnut Creek.
The surgery went well, Dr Fong told me it was what he had hoped for, taking off just a little more tissue around the left lateral pharyngeal area.
The cancerous tissue was only on the top layer so he cut out a little more (called a healthy margin). Diane was a trooper throughout the whole ordeal, her main worries were the nurses trying to find a vein to start the IV (She has had several nurses try 3 to 5 times, hurting her poor hand) and when waking up from surgery, feeling very nauseous. The IV needle was a breeze, and when I was able to go see her after the surgery, she was alert, and gave me a nice smile and thumbs up! What a difference from the last time! YAYYY!
I drove her home, she is now resting, and has pain in her throat and a headache, but besides that, "NOT TOO BAD" she stated.
The stress and worry is beginning to diminish a bit, with the (3) surgeries now out of the way, and Diane on the road to recovery, things are looking a bit better than they have.
The next hurdle will be the 6 weeks of radiation, due to start sometime in the middle of September. So for the next couple of weeks we will concentrate on Diane's health getting better day by day, her feeding tube will be removed next week and she will slowly start to swallow soft foods. She is a bit jealous from all the wonderful meals being delivered, (Cobb Salad last night..mmmmm..) and not being able to partake, but maybe that is an incentive for her. To our pastor Kurt from the Creek, a big thank you for coming by last night with your support and prayers, and thanks to all of you for the meals, the groceries, the play dates with Danielle, and my fellow photogs Sherman and Diedre for helping out on my weddings and portraits! We are truly blessed.

Surgery set for Thursday AM

Diane's third surgery is set for this Thursday morning, at Walnut Creek Kaiser. They are going to remove some cancerous tissue off the top of her throat. Not a lot, according to the surgeon, so hopefully Di will be released the same day and will be able to come home to recuperate further.
She is sleeping pretty good now, she is still on a feeding tube, so it's been a liquid diet for almost two weeks now. We all tried a shot of her liquid "ensure" and it actually doesn't taste too bad - kinda like a vanilla malt.
Her drain tubes are out, the holes are healing fine, the bandgae from her neck incision was removed and it doesn't look TOO bad, but it is very sore and hard. I think if I give her hickeys on the other side of neck, it would look even, whadya think???
Mentally and emotionally, we are both doing much better than last Friday, I think this next surgery will be not as bad as the previous two. radiation is about 4 weeks out, so it will give Diane time to heal and get her body in good shape for that phase. Diane just read what i typed and she said "make sure you thank EVERYBODY for the positive thoughts, prayers, and notes.
We feel so blessed to have such a warm, thoughtful and caring group of friends, going through this ordeal is not easy, but we know we are not alone, and your support makes it a easier road, by far.

1 step forward, two steps back

After meeting with Dr Fong today we are a little glum, with a pinch of anxiety thrown in. It's sometimes hard to be cheerful and positive during such an invasive disease, but that's part of the roller coaster effect it has with your emotions, I guess. The Dr. said the biopsy came out 90% as expected, but there were two lymph nodes with cancer, (not like one as we hoped) and there is some very small microscopic cancerous cells still in her mouth. Luckily it's on the top layer of the tissue, but Di has to go back in for another surgery next week where they will take out more tissue in the back of her mouth. We also talked about radiation treatments, which will likely begin in mid September, around the time of our 21st wedding anniversary! SO with the upcoming surgery and the 6 week round of radiation, we know this battle is a tough one, but we will prevail, one day at a time. Diane is feeling bad she has not been able to thank everyone here for your help, but the best part of her day is the notes, comments and cards she gets from all of her friends. She loves getting e-mails to her address: onebusyone@aol.com. Wow, I knew I married someone very special, but based on the amount of cards and e-mails, I guess everyone else knows it too. She is an amazing and special woman.

To the Doctor today

This afternoon we go visit Dr. Fong and see about taking out the feeding tube that goes from dianes nose into her stomach. If we remove it, she has to then "eat" like the rest of us, starting with clear liquids and then progressing to soft foods like applesauce and pudding. She has lost weight during this whole ordeal, I have been gaining the extra pounds for the entire family, since so many people have been bringing such WONDERFUL food to our house. Brian is hardly here, Diane can't eat, so it's Tyler, Danielle and I, usually with a meal for 6 people. So where does it go? In my stomach, of course, including the dessert! I went to the gym today, first time in 2-3 weeks, and it felt great getting back to Pilates. Both physically and mentally, wow, what a difference today.
Diane had a fairly good nights sleep last night, still coughing, still with neck pain, but she is beginning to get a little more feeling back around her left ear, neck and throat. She doesn't feel like she is ready to start eating, it still hurts to swallow, but we will see what the Dr. says. We lso are going to find out about the biopsy, Di is concerned and worried about today's appt., we also will find out about going through radiation treatments too.

Home sweet home?

Diane enjoyed her first day at home, but is still trying to recuperate form the surgery. Her coughing is keeping her up at night, she had to get up at 3:00 AM to sit upright in the living room. It still hurts to talk a lot, but she wants to chat with everyone one the phone to thank you all. She has the feeding down pretty well, taking two cans of ensure type liquid every 4 hours, putting it down her feeding tube. Instead of the plunger type of delivery, she just holds the container up above her head and it drips down the tube slowly. She looks like the statue of liberty! The kids are happy she is home, but (hopefully) realize we still have to do all the housework since Diane is still weak. I wake up already tired, but thankful for the life we have, and thankful for all of our friends and family and God watching over my family.

Diane comes home

Today is a nice day! My honey is home!

This is her walking out of the hospital!

It is still hard for her to talk much, she is still in pain around her neck, throat and head, but she is now home! What a nice little step to have accomplished. While she isn't up for visits quite yet, she is happy, although still tired. She is trying to eat (drink) clear broth, but it is very tender and sore down in her throat. The feeding tube will be removed Friday, as well as her drain tube on her neck. as she came in the door to the house, our dog Lexie looked at her and started barking, and running away! she wasn't quite sure but after a minute she finally recognized "Mom", the wonderful lady who selected her out of the litter three years ago.

Gotta go now, Diane needs some medicine and a feeding.....

release day set

Diane is set to be discharged tomorrow, Tuesday! One of her tubes coming out of her neck was removed, (with no pain med either, the Doc just pulled it out slowly).
I took Tyler and Danielle out to see her on Sunday, they were happy to be with their Mom, and maybe a bit surprised to see her with a tube coming out her nose, neck and IV need les in her wrist.
Her disposition is improving each day, she is beginning to chat on her cell phone to family, and is actually enjoying watching the Olympics! (Go USA basketball!)
We also find out about the biospy tomorrow, so the anxiety will be a little on the high side. In the meantime, we are all awaiting her return home, trying to keep the housework all kept up and in working order, so she won't worry about the laundry/shopping/cleaning/meals/watering/bills.
The meals being delivered have been a big hit with the family, even the kids are trying new dishes that they would not have tasted had we made them. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Danielle is enjoying the visits and activites too, she actually went to the Delta on Saturday and had a blast. Tyler is a gym rat, enjoying sleeping in till 12 or 1 and then going to the gym. He is looking for rides usually in the afternoon to the gym, if anyone is available, thanks

Saturday, Day 4

After a good night's sleep, Diane is beginning to feel somewhat like a person again. The feeding tube going in her nostril was taped to her cheek (face cheek!) and it was no longer hurting her.
She doesn't have to have her IV drip tubes attached all the time, and we actually went for another walk up and down the corridor again, this time without her having to lean on me so much. She said "the rest of my body doesn't feel so bad" and I can attest to that!
It seems she will be discharged either Monday or Tuesday. I have to go now so the nurse can teach me how to operate the feeding pump that she will have at home. She misses the kids so Tyler and Danielle are going to come and visit her today. Yeahh!

Day 3

Diane has begun figuring out several things: She is going through the wringer with recovery, sometimes being in pain and very uncomfortable with all the IV's and tubes inserted in her and with the coughing, which she is trying not to swallow because of all the surgery done in her mouth. The Doc stated "it's like a big scab on your knee, so it is oozing from the large incision". Yech. (Hope you aren't eating anything at your computer reading this.)
She has also figured out that if she switched from morpine to vicodine that her nausciousness will go away. She is beginning to sleep a little more at a time, (2 hr intervals), and we actually went on a little "walk" up and down the nurses corridor last night. The nurses at Kaiser have been absolute angels, very attentive and helpful, what a job they have! Most of the time they are trying to detangle all of the tubes and IV drips that are attached to the various machines hanging on a pole next to the bed. We have ice packs on the back of Diane's neck (which helps her feel better), ice packs on her forehead and those need changing every so often, which the nurses do gladly. The nurse was from Belarus, so when the Olympic opening ceremony was on TV last night, we watched the Belarus athletes come in to the stadium. What an amazing ceremony that was, though it was hard for Diane to look up at the TV.
Diane also has figured out that it is not going to be an easy recovery, but she is going to do it with strength and determination (with small bouts of sorrow and helplessness thrown in), God's help and support, and all of her family and friends love. There were moments of feeling OK, along with moments of her saying "this sucks"
One highlight was her actually telling me to TAKE A PICTURE of her, so we could send it to the kids!! So there she is, in her hospital bed, wearing a Kaiser issued smock, a yellow tube up her nose, two tubes coming out her neck, unable to smile on her left side, and posing for the camera! PRICELESS! I am going to sell the image to the highest bidder! Ha

Day 2 in the hospital

Thursday was a little bit better with Di. Although very tired, she was very coherent, still in pain, and the nauseousness is beginning to go away. She was up a few times, and at some point during the day she said "you know, right now I don't feel too bad". I told her those little times will become more and more common. She was also able to sleep about an hour at a time, after being transferred to a private room. The highlight for me was late last night, when we there all alone in the darkened room, just looking at each other and I saw a small little smile come across her lips. No need to talk, just communicating by eyesight like all couples can do. (and boy, her eyes still make me melt!) That little upturned expression, with direct eye to eye contact, told me it's beginning to get better. I have my baby back. A little at a time, step by step it will get better. The surgeon came by and answered any questions we had, the dissection they did on her neck is a small line (and I mean small) from her ear to the middle of her neck, and the sutures are on the inside, so she will not look like Frankenstein! Yeaay!
Di will most likely stay there until Sunday when she is discharged. (Can only hospitals and military say the word "discharged" when you leave? I use that word when my rechargeable AA batteries are ready, as in "is discharged up and ready to go?") ha
I cannot thank all of you enough for your outpouring of support, we are truly blessed to have such a strong community of friends like you. The notes, comments and offers of help (and food) have been a huge "helping hand" for Diane, me, and the kids, you are all amazing, and we appreciate it so much. She is on her way back (though it may be a slow process) and it is partly because of all of you!

reality sets in

After being at the hospital for more than 14 hours, I was finally able to see Diane, around 8:00 that evening. What an eye opener. When you see someone you love SO much in a lot of pain, it makes you want to just fix it. She kept slipping in and out of sleep, it was very hard for her to talk, she felt like she was going to throw up, hot flashes, dry mouth, and then trying to get comfortable on a hospital bed with a million cords and tubes all over with machines buzzing makes it hard to doze off. (Let alone the lady next to her snoring!) It was a major surgical procedure and it showed. I was planning to be there all night to help, but the nurses kicked me out at 12:30 AM. I drove home and after being up for 21 hours straight plopped in bed exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. Now the tough recuperation time has set in, I am about to drive out there this morning to see my sweet baby and hopefully she is a little bit better today. I THANK YOU all for the support and comments, I started to cry just reading them and I will pass them on to Diane once she is more coherent. The kids are doing fine, they just miss their Mom. More to come....

surgery a success

3:10 PM I just met with the surgeon, Dr Fong. He said everything went well, the remaining tissue in her mouth looked good, it was enough to suture some of it and some will just heal on it's own. The neck dissection was good too, took out some lymph nodes and they will be biopsied and we will know the results next week. Radiation could be an option just to make sure all the microvascullar cancer is gone. Diane will have a feeding tube for a several days so it gives her throat time to heal, and the Dr. expects her to come home Fri or Sat. I haven't seen my honey yet, but I will send her all sorts of love and support from everyone. Here's to a quick and full recovery! Also a big thanks to Chris from the Creek hanging out with me this morning, it was a pleasure to hang with you and get to know you, Thanks.

so far so good

An early morning (5:00 am) alarm and off we went to Kaiser in Oakland. From 5:45 to 8:00 is with with her and off she went to surgery. I got a call from one of Diane's surgeons a little while ago. He said they took out the tissue in her mouth as expected and did NOT have to split open her jaw! They did a frozen biopsy of some tissue in the back of her tounge and no cancer was found. So far so good, as he put it, and the next part of the surgery is her neck dissection where they take out the lymph nodes on the left side of her neck.
I will keep you up to date as I find out more, hopefully late this afternoon.

the night before...

Tomorrow is the "big" day and we are all set. We cannot believe the outpouring of support and help from our wonderful neighborhood friends in Lakewood and our church, the Creek. Thank you all so much for your notes, thoughts, prayers and support. What a great way to go through a difficult time. I will try to update this blog as soon as I hear from the surgeons tomorrow, there are a lot of you wanting to know as soon as possible.
In getting through this process, there are three things I want to share with you:

"Where there is hope, there can be faith. Where there is faith, miracles can occur". This is on a small tube of skin lotion I saw this morning in my medicine cabinet. Maybe a sign?

"I tell you the truth, if your faith is as big as a mustard seed, then you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there.' And it will move. All things will be possible for you" Matthew 17:19-20

A wonderful DVD that was recommended to us by Bernie Fitzsimmons is by Louise Hay titled " You can heal your life". I think everyone should either read the book or see the DVD. (borrow it from us when we are done!) It's a very positive and uplifting stroy about the process of thinking, and how it affects you and everyone around you. It has helped! Louise Hay Author and Founder of Hay House, Inc.

Tine to get some sleep, we have to be in Oakland Kaiser at 5:45 AM! Ouch.

Pre Op was today

Diane spent the morning at Kaiser in Oakland doing Pre Op for next Wednesday's surgery. Everything is all set, with a little nervousness and a little anxiety, but overall a positive feeling that it's going to be OK.
For those wanting to bring meals or help out by spending some time with Danielle, Kathy Fuller set up an online calendar. To log on to go to www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/605836/
You will be asked for your email address. Kathy gets your request and once you're added, you will receive an email back with a link to set up your own password and agree to the websites privacy policy. Now you will be ready to click on the calendar and schedule yourself to help.
We really appreciate it! Danielle will appreciate the time spent with her as well, she has already seen the movie "Wall-E "three times and loves it!

Surgery Date set for Aug 6. GOODBYE cancer!

The surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, Aug 6th. It will be about a 6 hour surgery, and anywhere from 3 to 10 days in the hospital! There is always a chance we would have to split open the jaw and do the radial arm patch, but there was very encouraging news from the Doctor, and after viewing Dianes mouth with a scope, he said it looks very "healthy"and the tumor in her lymph node was small. There is a (small) chance she doesn't need radiation afterwards too! Thanks for all the notes and cards, e-mails and positive words and thoughts during this time, it means a lot to Diane (and me). For those that want to help with a meal plan, go to Dianeshelpers@gmail.com and the wonderful Kathy Fuller is coordinating that.
At this time Diane feels like she does not want any visitors to the hospital, or for the first few days when she comes home. It will be very hard for her to talk and will be in pain, so we let you know when she is up (mentally and physically) for visits.

Surgery Appt.

After meeting with the Surgeon today at Kaiser, it seems like the surgery coming up will not be as bad as we feared.
Let's back up:
4 weeks ago, when the Dr Fong looked at Dianes throat, (it was 2 days after her tonsillectomy), and he saw very sore tissue, all swollen from her tonsil being taken out. It was hard to tell what was swollen or the cancer at that point. He told us about the proposed surgery, a procedure where they split open the jaw by cutting open the skin from the bottom lip to the chin. Then if they cut out so much tissue inside the mouth, (they can't leave a big gaping hole there), they borrow living tissue from the inside wrist and attach it to the hole in the mouth by connecting the blood vessels to it. And then they take skin from the leg to patch the hole in the wrist! YEOOWWZY. This was on our minds for 4 weeks.
But today... The Doctor looked inside Dianes mouth with a camera (we saw it on the monitor!) and he was very impressed with the recovery from the tonsillectomy. Her tissue looks good, and all the swelling has gone down. He doubts they have to split open the jaw, YEAYYY ! and perhaps not even having to do the "radial patch" where they transplant the tissue from the arm.

Surgery is expected to be around the 1st week of August, with a recovery time in the hospital of 3 days to 10 days, depending on what they find inside her mouth.

Start here

Well, this is a first for us, starting this blog, and we are trying it because so many friends have wanted to help us, and find out what the newest development is in this fight against the cancer.
To start at the beginning, Diane was diagnosed with Squamous cell carcinoma (cancer) when she went in for a sore throat/enlarged lymph node in the neck. After taking out her tonsil, they discovered it was cancer, and it metastisized (spread) to the lymph node on her neck.
The doctors feel that this might have been caused by the radiation she had 17 years ago for Hodgkins Lymphoma. (which is cancer of the lymph system). Hodgkins is a very curable type of cancer, if you were to pick one to get, that would be the one.