No Feeding Tube! ~ It's gone!

This afternoon at home Tyler (taking after his Dad's sense of humor) put a bunch of straws together from his nose to a glass of milk and said "Look Mom, I'm just like you!

Then it was off to Kaiser to meet Dr. Fong and have her feeding tube removed, after 3 weeks of a liquid diet!

Doesn't she look GREAT??? Yum

Dr Fong said her throat is healing very well, she now has to start eating soft food. She stopped by the studio to get some frozen yogurt next door, so I took her picture. (No photoshopping done, she really looks that good in person!) Dr Fong will also see her every 4 to 6 weeks for the next year to keep a close watch on her. She is not using the ice packs on her neck very much, not using the pain medication as much, so now the only pain in her neck is me! The kids are back in school now!

She is still coughing and clearing her throat all the time. I feel like she is trying to get my attention all the time, but I've finally gotten used to it.

So this hurdle has been cleared, Diane starts her 6 week regimen of radiation about mid September. She is feeling better and looking better day by day. The cards, E-mails and notes have been SO helpful in getting through all this, and we can't thank all of you enough for helping out in so many ways. I'll start here: THANK YOU!

We usually host an Ice Cream Social in our neighborhood every Labor Day, and I asked Di if she was up for going to it this year. She said yes, so if you are in the 'hood, please stop by the corner of Lakewood Rd and La Vista Rd. (better known as "the circle" or the "bus stop") on Monday at 7:00 for some ol' fashion Ice Cream and socializing! Bring some Ice Cream or toppings if you wish.

Sunny Summer Sunday

Saturday we celebrated Danielle's 9th birthday, she had two friends come over in the afternoon for swimming and a dinner (she wanted tri tip and ravioli!) and a sleepover. Diane was happy to enjoy the festivities, however she got tired in the evening with all the energy and excitement of family and friends visiting. The social creature that she is, she did her best, but it wore her out.

Saturday evening she slept VERY well, while I stayed up late with Tyler watching USA get the gold medal in basketball! YAYYY !!!

Today (Sunday) is almost like a typical lazy summer Sunday, after sleeping in late, I took the girls out for a sailboat ride on our lake, which makes you enjoy the scenery and outdoors in a calm, relaxed setting. There are the typical household chores to do, along with other outdoor projects that are always nagging at me, but today, just for today, we decided to just let ourselves have a break, and enjoy the day, our life and what we have to be thankful for. (Which is a lot).



Diane is beginning to sip water a little easier, working up to soup and broth, which is a little tougher on her poor stomach. The feeding tube is going to come out this week, Thursday if not sooner, and then she will hopefully feel up to actually going out! (Lookout Broadway Shopping Center). She is still sore in her throat, and it hurts to talk a lot, but every day, a little bit better.



Excuse me now, while I go outside and enjoy the day....

to Glen and his Family

Diane has befriended someone who is going through this same journey, Glen Thomas, who has a wonderful family here in our Lakewood community. They have talked and texted back and forth, giving each other info and support. Glen makes Diane smile and knows what she is going through right now, so I put a link to his blog if you'd like to check it out, under "my blog list" on the right hand column. Keep it up Glen, you are getting SO close now!

Diane's Surgery #3

After spending the day at Kaiser Walnut Creek today, Diane and I are "old pros" at this. She has now been under the surgeon's knife in Antioch, Oakland and Walnut Creek.
The surgery went well, Dr Fong told me it was what he had hoped for, taking off just a little more tissue around the left lateral pharyngeal area.
The cancerous tissue was only on the top layer so he cut out a little more (called a healthy margin). Diane was a trooper throughout the whole ordeal, her main worries were the nurses trying to find a vein to start the IV (She has had several nurses try 3 to 5 times, hurting her poor hand) and when waking up from surgery, feeling very nauseous. The IV needle was a breeze, and when I was able to go see her after the surgery, she was alert, and gave me a nice smile and thumbs up! What a difference from the last time! YAYYY!
I drove her home, she is now resting, and has pain in her throat and a headache, but besides that, "NOT TOO BAD" she stated.
The stress and worry is beginning to diminish a bit, with the (3) surgeries now out of the way, and Diane on the road to recovery, things are looking a bit better than they have.
The next hurdle will be the 6 weeks of radiation, due to start sometime in the middle of September. So for the next couple of weeks we will concentrate on Diane's health getting better day by day, her feeding tube will be removed next week and she will slowly start to swallow soft foods. She is a bit jealous from all the wonderful meals being delivered, (Cobb Salad last night..mmmmm..) and not being able to partake, but maybe that is an incentive for her. To our pastor Kurt from the Creek, a big thank you for coming by last night with your support and prayers, and thanks to all of you for the meals, the groceries, the play dates with Danielle, and my fellow photogs Sherman and Diedre for helping out on my weddings and portraits! We are truly blessed.

Surgery set for Thursday AM

Diane's third surgery is set for this Thursday morning, at Walnut Creek Kaiser. They are going to remove some cancerous tissue off the top of her throat. Not a lot, according to the surgeon, so hopefully Di will be released the same day and will be able to come home to recuperate further.
She is sleeping pretty good now, she is still on a feeding tube, so it's been a liquid diet for almost two weeks now. We all tried a shot of her liquid "ensure" and it actually doesn't taste too bad - kinda like a vanilla malt.
Her drain tubes are out, the holes are healing fine, the bandgae from her neck incision was removed and it doesn't look TOO bad, but it is very sore and hard. I think if I give her hickeys on the other side of neck, it would look even, whadya think???
Mentally and emotionally, we are both doing much better than last Friday, I think this next surgery will be not as bad as the previous two. radiation is about 4 weeks out, so it will give Diane time to heal and get her body in good shape for that phase. Diane just read what i typed and she said "make sure you thank EVERYBODY for the positive thoughts, prayers, and notes.
We feel so blessed to have such a warm, thoughtful and caring group of friends, going through this ordeal is not easy, but we know we are not alone, and your support makes it a easier road, by far.

1 step forward, two steps back

After meeting with Dr Fong today we are a little glum, with a pinch of anxiety thrown in. It's sometimes hard to be cheerful and positive during such an invasive disease, but that's part of the roller coaster effect it has with your emotions, I guess. The Dr. said the biopsy came out 90% as expected, but there were two lymph nodes with cancer, (not like one as we hoped) and there is some very small microscopic cancerous cells still in her mouth. Luckily it's on the top layer of the tissue, but Di has to go back in for another surgery next week where they will take out more tissue in the back of her mouth. We also talked about radiation treatments, which will likely begin in mid September, around the time of our 21st wedding anniversary! SO with the upcoming surgery and the 6 week round of radiation, we know this battle is a tough one, but we will prevail, one day at a time. Diane is feeling bad she has not been able to thank everyone here for your help, but the best part of her day is the notes, comments and cards she gets from all of her friends. She loves getting e-mails to her address: onebusyone@aol.com. Wow, I knew I married someone very special, but based on the amount of cards and e-mails, I guess everyone else knows it too. She is an amazing and special woman.

To the Doctor today

This afternoon we go visit Dr. Fong and see about taking out the feeding tube that goes from dianes nose into her stomach. If we remove it, she has to then "eat" like the rest of us, starting with clear liquids and then progressing to soft foods like applesauce and pudding. She has lost weight during this whole ordeal, I have been gaining the extra pounds for the entire family, since so many people have been bringing such WONDERFUL food to our house. Brian is hardly here, Diane can't eat, so it's Tyler, Danielle and I, usually with a meal for 6 people. So where does it go? In my stomach, of course, including the dessert! I went to the gym today, first time in 2-3 weeks, and it felt great getting back to Pilates. Both physically and mentally, wow, what a difference today.
Diane had a fairly good nights sleep last night, still coughing, still with neck pain, but she is beginning to get a little more feeling back around her left ear, neck and throat. She doesn't feel like she is ready to start eating, it still hurts to swallow, but we will see what the Dr. says. We lso are going to find out about the biopsy, Di is concerned and worried about today's appt., we also will find out about going through radiation treatments too.

Home sweet home?

Diane enjoyed her first day at home, but is still trying to recuperate form the surgery. Her coughing is keeping her up at night, she had to get up at 3:00 AM to sit upright in the living room. It still hurts to talk a lot, but she wants to chat with everyone one the phone to thank you all. She has the feeding down pretty well, taking two cans of ensure type liquid every 4 hours, putting it down her feeding tube. Instead of the plunger type of delivery, she just holds the container up above her head and it drips down the tube slowly. She looks like the statue of liberty! The kids are happy she is home, but (hopefully) realize we still have to do all the housework since Diane is still weak. I wake up already tired, but thankful for the life we have, and thankful for all of our friends and family and God watching over my family.

Diane comes home

Today is a nice day! My honey is home!

This is her walking out of the hospital!

It is still hard for her to talk much, she is still in pain around her neck, throat and head, but she is now home! What a nice little step to have accomplished. While she isn't up for visits quite yet, she is happy, although still tired. She is trying to eat (drink) clear broth, but it is very tender and sore down in her throat. The feeding tube will be removed Friday, as well as her drain tube on her neck. as she came in the door to the house, our dog Lexie looked at her and started barking, and running away! she wasn't quite sure but after a minute she finally recognized "Mom", the wonderful lady who selected her out of the litter three years ago.

Gotta go now, Diane needs some medicine and a feeding.....

release day set

Diane is set to be discharged tomorrow, Tuesday! One of her tubes coming out of her neck was removed, (with no pain med either, the Doc just pulled it out slowly).
I took Tyler and Danielle out to see her on Sunday, they were happy to be with their Mom, and maybe a bit surprised to see her with a tube coming out her nose, neck and IV need les in her wrist.
Her disposition is improving each day, she is beginning to chat on her cell phone to family, and is actually enjoying watching the Olympics! (Go USA basketball!)
We also find out about the biospy tomorrow, so the anxiety will be a little on the high side. In the meantime, we are all awaiting her return home, trying to keep the housework all kept up and in working order, so she won't worry about the laundry/shopping/cleaning/meals/watering/bills.
The meals being delivered have been a big hit with the family, even the kids are trying new dishes that they would not have tasted had we made them. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Danielle is enjoying the visits and activites too, she actually went to the Delta on Saturday and had a blast. Tyler is a gym rat, enjoying sleeping in till 12 or 1 and then going to the gym. He is looking for rides usually in the afternoon to the gym, if anyone is available, thanks

Saturday, Day 4

After a good night's sleep, Diane is beginning to feel somewhat like a person again. The feeding tube going in her nostril was taped to her cheek (face cheek!) and it was no longer hurting her.
She doesn't have to have her IV drip tubes attached all the time, and we actually went for another walk up and down the corridor again, this time without her having to lean on me so much. She said "the rest of my body doesn't feel so bad" and I can attest to that!
It seems she will be discharged either Monday or Tuesday. I have to go now so the nurse can teach me how to operate the feeding pump that she will have at home. She misses the kids so Tyler and Danielle are going to come and visit her today. Yeahh!

Day 3

Diane has begun figuring out several things: She is going through the wringer with recovery, sometimes being in pain and very uncomfortable with all the IV's and tubes inserted in her and with the coughing, which she is trying not to swallow because of all the surgery done in her mouth. The Doc stated "it's like a big scab on your knee, so it is oozing from the large incision". Yech. (Hope you aren't eating anything at your computer reading this.)
She has also figured out that if she switched from morpine to vicodine that her nausciousness will go away. She is beginning to sleep a little more at a time, (2 hr intervals), and we actually went on a little "walk" up and down the nurses corridor last night. The nurses at Kaiser have been absolute angels, very attentive and helpful, what a job they have! Most of the time they are trying to detangle all of the tubes and IV drips that are attached to the various machines hanging on a pole next to the bed. We have ice packs on the back of Diane's neck (which helps her feel better), ice packs on her forehead and those need changing every so often, which the nurses do gladly. The nurse was from Belarus, so when the Olympic opening ceremony was on TV last night, we watched the Belarus athletes come in to the stadium. What an amazing ceremony that was, though it was hard for Diane to look up at the TV.
Diane also has figured out that it is not going to be an easy recovery, but she is going to do it with strength and determination (with small bouts of sorrow and helplessness thrown in), God's help and support, and all of her family and friends love. There were moments of feeling OK, along with moments of her saying "this sucks"
One highlight was her actually telling me to TAKE A PICTURE of her, so we could send it to the kids!! So there she is, in her hospital bed, wearing a Kaiser issued smock, a yellow tube up her nose, two tubes coming out her neck, unable to smile on her left side, and posing for the camera! PRICELESS! I am going to sell the image to the highest bidder! Ha

Day 2 in the hospital

Thursday was a little bit better with Di. Although very tired, she was very coherent, still in pain, and the nauseousness is beginning to go away. She was up a few times, and at some point during the day she said "you know, right now I don't feel too bad". I told her those little times will become more and more common. She was also able to sleep about an hour at a time, after being transferred to a private room. The highlight for me was late last night, when we there all alone in the darkened room, just looking at each other and I saw a small little smile come across her lips. No need to talk, just communicating by eyesight like all couples can do. (and boy, her eyes still make me melt!) That little upturned expression, with direct eye to eye contact, told me it's beginning to get better. I have my baby back. A little at a time, step by step it will get better. The surgeon came by and answered any questions we had, the dissection they did on her neck is a small line (and I mean small) from her ear to the middle of her neck, and the sutures are on the inside, so she will not look like Frankenstein! Yeaay!
Di will most likely stay there until Sunday when she is discharged. (Can only hospitals and military say the word "discharged" when you leave? I use that word when my rechargeable AA batteries are ready, as in "is discharged up and ready to go?") ha
I cannot thank all of you enough for your outpouring of support, we are truly blessed to have such a strong community of friends like you. The notes, comments and offers of help (and food) have been a huge "helping hand" for Diane, me, and the kids, you are all amazing, and we appreciate it so much. She is on her way back (though it may be a slow process) and it is partly because of all of you!

reality sets in

After being at the hospital for more than 14 hours, I was finally able to see Diane, around 8:00 that evening. What an eye opener. When you see someone you love SO much in a lot of pain, it makes you want to just fix it. She kept slipping in and out of sleep, it was very hard for her to talk, she felt like she was going to throw up, hot flashes, dry mouth, and then trying to get comfortable on a hospital bed with a million cords and tubes all over with machines buzzing makes it hard to doze off. (Let alone the lady next to her snoring!) It was a major surgical procedure and it showed. I was planning to be there all night to help, but the nurses kicked me out at 12:30 AM. I drove home and after being up for 21 hours straight plopped in bed exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. Now the tough recuperation time has set in, I am about to drive out there this morning to see my sweet baby and hopefully she is a little bit better today. I THANK YOU all for the support and comments, I started to cry just reading them and I will pass them on to Diane once she is more coherent. The kids are doing fine, they just miss their Mom. More to come....

surgery a success

3:10 PM I just met with the surgeon, Dr Fong. He said everything went well, the remaining tissue in her mouth looked good, it was enough to suture some of it and some will just heal on it's own. The neck dissection was good too, took out some lymph nodes and they will be biopsied and we will know the results next week. Radiation could be an option just to make sure all the microvascullar cancer is gone. Diane will have a feeding tube for a several days so it gives her throat time to heal, and the Dr. expects her to come home Fri or Sat. I haven't seen my honey yet, but I will send her all sorts of love and support from everyone. Here's to a quick and full recovery! Also a big thanks to Chris from the Creek hanging out with me this morning, it was a pleasure to hang with you and get to know you, Thanks.

so far so good

An early morning (5:00 am) alarm and off we went to Kaiser in Oakland. From 5:45 to 8:00 is with with her and off she went to surgery. I got a call from one of Diane's surgeons a little while ago. He said they took out the tissue in her mouth as expected and did NOT have to split open her jaw! They did a frozen biopsy of some tissue in the back of her tounge and no cancer was found. So far so good, as he put it, and the next part of the surgery is her neck dissection where they take out the lymph nodes on the left side of her neck.
I will keep you up to date as I find out more, hopefully late this afternoon.

the night before...

Tomorrow is the "big" day and we are all set. We cannot believe the outpouring of support and help from our wonderful neighborhood friends in Lakewood and our church, the Creek. Thank you all so much for your notes, thoughts, prayers and support. What a great way to go through a difficult time. I will try to update this blog as soon as I hear from the surgeons tomorrow, there are a lot of you wanting to know as soon as possible.
In getting through this process, there are three things I want to share with you:

"Where there is hope, there can be faith. Where there is faith, miracles can occur". This is on a small tube of skin lotion I saw this morning in my medicine cabinet. Maybe a sign?

"I tell you the truth, if your faith is as big as a mustard seed, then you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there.' And it will move. All things will be possible for you" Matthew 17:19-20

A wonderful DVD that was recommended to us by Bernie Fitzsimmons is by Louise Hay titled " You can heal your life". I think everyone should either read the book or see the DVD. (borrow it from us when we are done!) It's a very positive and uplifting stroy about the process of thinking, and how it affects you and everyone around you. It has helped! Louise Hay Author and Founder of Hay House, Inc.

Tine to get some sleep, we have to be in Oakland Kaiser at 5:45 AM! Ouch.